laughter…it makes everything better


noun. the act or sound of laughing

Laughter is the key to happiness. Let’s face it folks, if we didn’t laugh we’d all be miserable! Life can only be lived if there’s laughter. We’ve got to laugh through joy and pain…always looking for the silver lining. In our most darkest moments it’s memories of laughter and smiles that bring us back. If we are having a bad day, it only takes that one smile or sound of laughter to turn the day around. You know, like when you hear a baby or small child laugh? That sound makes everything bad disappear, right?! Of course it does! Now, why am I saying all this about laughter??? Well, because until recently I didn’t really understand just how powerful laughter, smiles, and happy people were. Not until I met a particular person who, unknowingly, was just right and right on time…

If you’ve read any of my previous posts, it’s pretty obvious I’m a hopeless romantic. That I tend to look for the good in people. That I’m honest about my thoughts and actions. That I admit my wrongdoings. That I tend to put the feelings of others above my own to avoid hurting someone. You know that about me by now, right?  So imagine how I felt when I unexpectedly met someone who has gradually revealed himself to be someone very special…

No one is perfect, we all know that but in life we have to define our “perfect” to figure out what that means to us. Figure out what that means in dating and getting to know people. It’s a big part of maturity and overall growth. I definitely took time over the last year to reevaluate my “perfect” by reflecting on the decisions of my past. My idea of perfect has changed drastically over the years. My “list” has become less and less important to me. What has taken over is my truth in knowing who or what makes me happy. Truth is, it’s simple. I’m simple. I want and need the man I’m with to be confident, strong-willed, educated, caring, appreciative, giving of his time, observant, a good listener, a hug giver, a kisses so good I want to kiss him again and again kisser… I want him to be able to laugh with and at me and vise versa. I want him to understand the power in laughter and how it can change the outcome of the day. I want him to take the time to know me, learn my hearts and my many faces. I’m sure you’re thinking … OK Kabmater, can your not so much of a list anymore list be any longer? I know…I know it seems like a lot of wants and needs but at the end of the day all of the things I want and need are priceless… Priceless  characteristics, priceless actions, priceless skills and when shared with the right person can become an explosive connection.

An explosive connection. A connection that was gradual, by both accounts, and took time to reveal Itself. Although we disagree on when things kinda clicked we both admit there was a moment when the light bulb went off. A moment when he decided he should possibly pay a little more attention to me and a moment when I decided to take him seriously. Again, we disagree on what happened first but something clearly happened and we both acknowledged and welcomed it.

I’ve learned through this process just how important it is to have a true connection with someone. I don’t know if I can truly say I have had a “real” connection with someone before. If I have, it definitely wasn’t like this. We can be physically attracted to a person but what’s really behind a smile, a hug, a decent conversation is key. That’s what matters. The questions of sincerity, humility, and integrity all go away when there’s a connection because we begin to see the person beyond the surface. We don’t have to second-guess their words or our actions because we are intuitive to the emotional needs of one another. That’s what makes everything that’s good…great. Everything that’s great…unexplainable.

My time with him is never boring. Even in silence there’s something there that we quietly acknowledge but have never spoken out loud. A level of comfort and trust that, by all accounts and personal experience, doesn’t happen often. We have a vibe that others envy and want to be a part of. From the glances of strangers while we laugh and talk at dinner to the people we don’t know who smile and laugh along with us as if they are in on our “things” and jokes. It’s all quite fascinating. It’s all quite comfortable. It’s all a surprise.

The irony here is at first glance he caught my eye with a gorgeous smile and addictive laugh and as time has passed, he has truly revealed himself as something else, something more. He is someone with layers and experiences that I would have never guessed. His attentiveness has allowed him to identify the essence of who I am as a woman. My attentiveness has allowed me to show him that I, too, am something else, something more.  He’s rare. He’s nothing ordinary by any account and if I would have met him and any point prior to when we first met, I’m positive I would have passed right by him and never looked back. Not because I wouldn’t have wanted to get to know him but more so because I would have assumed there was nothing beyond that smile and that laugh…it was all too perfect. At the end of the day, he’s just right and right on time. His hugs are perfect. His kisses are perfect. His laugh is contagious. His timing is spot on. I can’t imagine it being any other way.

We smile everyday knowing without speaking out loud that this thing we have is something else. Something too deep to discuss. Something we both understand. Something we were blessed enough to recognize.

…and so we laugh