i know it’s been several minutes, hours, weeks, and months since my last post.  truth is… there’s a lot going on in my life.  i’ve got plenty to say and i will definitely share in the next coming weeks and months. …stay tuned!

first, i want to share this… for the last few months i contemplated moving out of my first home, getting a renter, and buying a second place.  i struggled with the thought of allowing someone, a stranger, to live in the one place i’ve lived in alone and belonging solely to me.

as i taped my final box and prepared for my last night in my first home i was overcome with a stream of emotions.  would he or she appreciate each piece of hardwood as i did?  would the unharmed walls remain immaculate?  would the pang of the heat or A/C turning on sound the same to him or her?  i doubt it but i had to let go of the thought of someone renting my place loving it as much as i have.  there is a ton of attachment to these walls.  this was MY VERY FIRST HOME!!

as i looked out of my bedroom door, i saw a sea of boxes covering my normally spotless, now cluttered home.  a true indication of the life i had and all I have done in the last 8 1/2 years. i walked in with a couch and a kitchen table. i realized i was leaving with a life i didn’t know i’d have… leaving as a respectable professional who worked her way up and has become someone’s boss.  i’m independent and focused.  i’ve got a great circle of friends.  i’ve acquired a strong support system with people i would have never thought would turn out to be my “go to gang” and i’ve maintained the most important friendships i’ve ever had…

There are so many memories in these walls… Good and bad

While browsing MySpace many, many years ago… Wait! That sounds a bit creepy… Technically, I was on the page of a friend when I stumbled across the best smile ever. I say it was the best smile because the “happy, happy, joy, joy” mantra of Ren and Stimpy instantly popped into my head. The guy behind the smile literally looked like the happiest person EVER! The smile was huge and I’m not sure why but it stopped me instantly. I’m sure I stared for a minute or so.

Now, I’m not the friendliest person in the world. Actually, I’d consider myself to be the least friendly out of all of my friends BUT there was something about his smile that made me want to know him. You know, be friendly… So, for the first time I can possibly remember, I reached out to a total stranger!! Well, I guess he wasn’t a complete stranger considering we had a friend in common…right? As I typed the message, I definitely thought about the possibilities of my early demise and becoming the lead story on a future episode of 48-hour mystery. I could see my parents and sister talking to Stone Phillips sad and confused as they individually questioned why I suddenly decided to be friendly. That would be my luck.

So, I sent a message to him to let him know how great of a smile I thought he had. Truths? Yes, I was hoping he would respond. I actually refreshed the message several times hoping he was online and would be as eager to reply to my message I was to let him know how great his smile was. Needless to say, there was no “instant message” back from the mystery smile guy. To prevent myself from breaking the mouse and not wonder IF he would respond, I logged out and shutdown my computer. This was way before cell phones had the capability to do more than just make a call so logging out meant just that.

I spent the remainder of my day wondering if this guy would respond. I wondered what he would say. I wondered what I would say if he responded. I don’t remember exactly how long it took him to respond but he did. It was a cheeky exchange. I think he complimented my smile as well, which started the conversation. At some point, we began talking on the phone. He was a lot of fun to talk to. We laughed a lot. We had our own thing. We were perfectly in sync. We both had unique personalities and we both seemed to be sensitive to the feelings of not just ourselves but others as well.