Note: I like to post open letters from time to time. These letters are specifically for the individual and no one else.  The words in these letters are my most sincere feelings during my writing process.  Who knows how long I’ll actually feel what write…all I know is this is how I feel right now…today…in this moment.  Tomorrow, next week, next month…who knows. I just know that TODAY I felt the need to write this.  UmmmmKay?  Just saying…

Laugh-ter.

ˈlaftər/
noun. the act or sound of laughing

Laughter is the key to happiness. Let’s face it folks, if we didn’t laugh we’d all be miserable! Life can only be lived if there’s laughter. We’ve got to laugh through joy and pain…always looking for the silver lining. In our most darkest moments it’s memories of laughter and smiles that bring us back. If we are having a bad day, it only takes that one smile or sound of laughter to turn the day around. You know, like when you hear a baby or small child laugh? That sound makes everything bad disappear, right?! Of course it does! Now, why am I saying all this about laughter??? Well, because until recently I didn’t really understand just how powerful laughter, smiles, and happy people were. Not until I met a particular person who, unknowingly, was just right and right on time…

the truth is rarely pure and simple
so go live your truth… whatever that may be and know it belongs solely to you because we are all unique in the way we move through the ebbs and flows of our so-called life. livlovelaugh-SIG

i know it’s been several minutes, hours, weeks, and months since my last post.  truth is… there’s a lot going on in my life.  i’ve got plenty to say and i will definitely share in the next coming weeks and months. …stay tuned!

first, i want to share this… for the last few months i contemplated moving out of my first home, getting a renter, and buying a second place.  i struggled with the thought of allowing someone, a stranger, to live in the one place i’ve lived in alone and belonging solely to me.

as i taped my final box and prepared for my last night in my first home i was overcome with a stream of emotions.  would he or she appreciate each piece of hardwood as i did?  would the unharmed walls remain immaculate?  would the pang of the heat or A/C turning on sound the same to him or her?  i doubt it but i had to let go of the thought of someone renting my place loving it as much as i have.  there is a ton of attachment to these walls.  this was MY VERY FIRST HOME!!

as i looked out of my bedroom door, i saw a sea of boxes covering my normally spotless, now cluttered home.  a true indication of the life i had and all I have done in the last 8 1/2 years. i walked in with a couch and a kitchen table. i realized i was leaving with a life i didn’t know i’d have… leaving as a respectable professional who worked her way up and has become someone’s boss.  i’m independent and focused.  i’ve got a great circle of friends.  i’ve acquired a strong support system with people i would have never thought would turn out to be my “go to gang” and i’ve maintained the most important friendships i’ve ever had…

There are so many memories in these walls… Good and bad

It’s really not that deep, really. My thoughts are so random throughout the day. Oftentimes, people think I’m cooking up a master plan to take over the world. Not really… Don’t get me wrong, I’ve definitely got a plan but that’s not all I think about. So, here’s to all who want to know what goes on in the mind of the Kabmater… Well, let me be clear. This is what was on my mind this morning.  My random thoughts all before my day really got going. (Yes, I wrote them down. No, not while driving… I recorded myself in a memo) I’m that thorough.

i have a great friend who, by every definition, is truly my best friend.  he means more to me than i will ever be able to express with words or actions. he has been in my life for over half of my life and has been around for all of the ebbs and flows…  he’s heard me cry (too many times to count), he’s heard me laugh uncontrollably, he’s seen my most sincere smile and heard my most protected thoughts.  i love him dearly because he has never judged me…even when i was wrong (which was often).  he always answered my call…even after i hung up on him (because i didn’t want to hear the truth).  he’s irreplaceable and i miss him when we go through growing pains and don’t speak for weeks or months…