Dear 20-something girl posting damn near nude pics on social media:

What the hell are you doing? Do you ever plan to have a legit job or will you pursue your “modeling” career til the end of days? I mean, have you considered the fact that social media posts and thousands of followers doesn’t equal success in the real world? NEWS FLASH!!! Taking ass and barely there pics doesn’t make you a star OR model. It will actually make you a horrible job candidate when that ass begins to sag and your “modeling” career ends. You see technology is your forever friend and all those pics you post will ALWAYS be there. Let’s hope your future child doesn’t try to find pics of you using some sort of facial recognition software for a school project 10 or so years from now. Just think of all the nonsense he or she will find by simply typing your name into a search engine. How will you explain your lack of respect for yourself and your body to him or her? Yeah, yeah, yeah…you respect yourself and are more secure with who you are than most woman, right? That’s what you think, right? Here’s the thing, there’s NO way that’s true simply because your daily display of barely there pics to generate followers and “likes” is a pure indication that you seek validation from men (and women) who are giving you attention because of your body.

it’s been way too long since my last post. yeah, i know. maybe i’m a slacker at times. maybe i’ve been too busy living to sit down and finish a post. maybe i’ve been procrastinating on writing because i know i’ve got more to say than i wish to admit. truths? it’s a little bit of each of those things.

there’s a lot going on in my world. well, there’s always a lot going on which, honestly, is why i don’t post as often as i should. that’s really no excuse but it is what it is. i want to share some of it but i know if i write about the people in my life i need to make sure my words aren’t misunderstood. there’s someone i’d like to write about but i’m protective of those i care the most about so i definitely need think long and hard about pushing out a post specifically about this person… and make sure my words are understood prior to posting them. there’s a lot to this blog stuff. it’s not as easy as it may seem to sit and type thoughts on a laptop and push it out to the masses. it’s a pretty big deal.

anyway, i’ve got a ton on my mind today. so much so that i feel restless. my ears are ringing nonstop. my thoughts are all over the place. i’m hella stressed and uncertain about several things that matter… some may say i’m at a crossroads. some may look at my life and think i’m being dramatic. i really don’t care what anyone thinks at this point. i’m going to take a moment and put myself first for a change. let me start by unloading all the bullshit and random things on my mind…

While browsing MySpace many, many years ago… Wait! That sounds a bit creepy… Technically, I was on the page of a friend when I stumbled across the best smile ever. I say it was the best smile because the “happy, happy, joy, joy” mantra of Ren and Stimpy instantly popped into my head. The guy behind the smile literally looked like the happiest person EVER! The smile was huge and I’m not sure why but it stopped me instantly. I’m sure I stared for a minute or so.

Now, I’m not the friendliest person in the world. Actually, I’d consider myself to be the least friendly out of all of my friends BUT there was something about his smile that made me want to know him. You know, be friendly… So, for the first time I can possibly remember, I reached out to a total stranger!! Well, I guess he wasn’t a complete stranger considering we had a friend in common…right? As I typed the message, I definitely thought about the possibilities of my early demise and becoming the lead story on a future episode of 48-hour mystery. I could see my parents and sister talking to Stone Phillips sad and confused as they individually questioned why I suddenly decided to be friendly. That would be my luck.

So, I sent a message to him to let him know how great of a smile I thought he had. Truths? Yes, I was hoping he would respond. I actually refreshed the message several times hoping he was online and would be as eager to reply to my message I was to let him know how great his smile was. Needless to say, there was no “instant message” back from the mystery smile guy. To prevent myself from breaking the mouse and not wonder IF he would respond, I logged out and shutdown my computer. This was way before cell phones had the capability to do more than just make a call so logging out meant just that.

I spent the remainder of my day wondering if this guy would respond. I wondered what he would say. I wondered what I would say if he responded. I don’t remember exactly how long it took him to respond but he did. It was a cheeky exchange. I think he complimented my smile as well, which started the conversation. At some point, we began talking on the phone. He was a lot of fun to talk to. We laughed a lot. We had our own thing. We were perfectly in sync. We both had unique personalities and we both seemed to be sensitive to the feelings of not just ourselves but others as well.