Laugh-ter.

ˈlaftər/
noun. the act or sound of laughing

Laughter is the key to happiness. Let’s face it folks, if we didn’t laugh we’d all be miserable! Life can only be lived if there’s laughter. We’ve got to laugh through joy and pain…always looking for the silver lining. In our most darkest moments it’s memories of laughter and smiles that bring us back. If we are having a bad day, it only takes that one smile or sound of laughter to turn the day around. You know, like when you hear a baby or small child laugh? That sound makes everything bad disappear, right?! Of course it does! Now, why am I saying all this about laughter??? Well, because until recently I didn’t really understand just how powerful laughter, smiles, and happy people were. Not until I met a particular person who, unknowingly, was just right and right on time…

the truth is rarely pure and simple
so go live your truth… whatever that may be and know it belongs solely to you because we are all unique in the way we move through the ebbs and flows of our so-called life. livlovelaugh-SIG

i know it’s been several minutes, hours, weeks, and months since my last post.  truth is… there’s a lot going on in my life.  i’ve got plenty to say and i will definitely share in the next coming weeks and months. …stay tuned!

first, i want to share this… for the last few months i contemplated moving out of my first home, getting a renter, and buying a second place.  i struggled with the thought of allowing someone, a stranger, to live in the one place i’ve lived in alone and belonging solely to me.

as i taped my final box and prepared for my last night in my first home i was overcome with a stream of emotions.  would he or she appreciate each piece of hardwood as i did?  would the unharmed walls remain immaculate?  would the pang of the heat or A/C turning on sound the same to him or her?  i doubt it but i had to let go of the thought of someone renting my place loving it as much as i have.  there is a ton of attachment to these walls.  this was MY VERY FIRST HOME!!

as i looked out of my bedroom door, i saw a sea of boxes covering my normally spotless, now cluttered home.  a true indication of the life i had and all I have done in the last 8 1/2 years. i walked in with a couch and a kitchen table. i realized i was leaving with a life i didn’t know i’d have… leaving as a respectable professional who worked her way up and has become someone’s boss.  i’m independent and focused.  i’ve got a great circle of friends.  i’ve acquired a strong support system with people i would have never thought would turn out to be my “go to gang” and i’ve maintained the most important friendships i’ve ever had…

There are so many memories in these walls… Good and bad

Friendship.

Who really knows what that means until they are faced with challenges, let downs, broken hearts, and unknowns…

Ever since high school there has been one friend who has ALWAYS been there. He has never sugar-coated his words, never tried to protect me from the truth. His sincerity has taught me the importance of honesty. His integrity has taught me the importance of staying true to myself. His consistency has taught me to become my dreams. His unconditional love and support has taught me the true value of friendship. I am thankful to have such a great friend and extension of support beyond my family.

Today, as I waited at a restaurant for a friend to arrive, I was asked why I am still single.  The conversation went like this…

Me : Ask him, and him, oh and him… Wait! Can’t forget about him.

The Guy: One of the “hims” needs to man up.

Me: Too late for those guys. The right one will come along one day.

The Guy: I hope so because it will be a shame if one doesn’t. I don’t know you but I’m good at spotting quality and you are beyond that. You carry yourself well. Very classy.

Me: Thanks. I try. I’m patient. No worries here. In time. One day.

A very short conversation with a stranger… For the record, he was married. LOL! I thought it was true to form for me though.  That’s the question I get ALL the time.  Married men always ask why I’m single. Single guys ask why I’m single. I ask why I’m single. I guess the answer to everyone, including myself, is simple…

It’s really not that deep, really. My thoughts are so random throughout the day. Oftentimes, people think I’m cooking up a master plan to take over the world. Not really… Don’t get me wrong, I’ve definitely got a plan but that’s not all I think about. So, here’s to all who want to know what goes on in the mind of the Kabmater… Well, let me be clear. This is what was on my mind this morning.  My random thoughts all before my day really got going. (Yes, I wrote them down. No, not while driving… I recorded myself in a memo) I’m that thorough.

au·dac·i·ty

ôˈdasitē/

1. Fearless daring; intrepidity.
2. Bold or insolent heedlessness of restraints, as of those imposed by prudence, propriety, or convention.

hon·es·ty
ˈänistē/

1. The quality or condition of being honest; integrity.
2. Truthfulness; sincerity: in all honesty.

I pride myself on being honest with people. It’s part of my DNA. I feel bad if I withhold information. It drains me mentally. I’m honest because it guarantees my integrity. I know I’ve done quite a bit of damage by being honest. The damage I’ve done ranges from a simple response to an opinion of an outfit to being truthful to a friend about seeing her man out with another women to extremely personal situations of my own. Hell, I’ve lost friendships ( well, what I assumed were friendships) because I was honest.

my mind is going nonstop! so, i figured i’d write something before i head out for the evening to clear some of my mind traffic so i can focus on how fantastic i’m going to look in my dress.  🙂  moving on…

a few weeks ago a dear friend of mine sent me the following text:

“hey. do you think you could handle a relationship where the guy was completely honest? Completely”

my response:

“absolutely. in all honesty, being lied to always hurts more than the truth…period”

i thought about his question more throughout my day.  i even asked several women the same question as well as a few male friends. i wanted to know what other people thought about a truly transparent relationship. i was actually very surprised at the responses. i assumed the men would want to know but the women wouldn’t.  Shockingly, the responses were completely opposite of my assumption.  none of the men i asked wanted to know.  NONE! the women, however, wanted to know and seemed to value transparency within a relationship much more than men.